If I had known...

Even though the current situation of selling and packing up my life is different than taking care of and watching my Dad die in 2004, the emotions being brought out through the process are very similar. If I had known how hard it was going to be to take care of my Dad, particularly during the last two weeks of his life and then watch him die, I don't know that I would have ever prayed for and taken on the commitment of taking care of my Dad.

In a similar way, if I had known how hard these last two weeks of selling/packing up my life, letting go of my dog, etc. were going to be, I don't know that I would have ever prayed for and made the commitment to move. Today it has felt like the emotional "floodwaters" were swirling around my neck and I felt like I might even going under for a few brief moments, to come back up coughing and choking, trying to catch my breath.

God has promised in Isaiah 43:2, that "When I pass through the waters, He will be with me, and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm me..." Well, I was counting on that today as I felt like I might go under to never breathe again.

I also realized today that no matter how hard it was to take care of and watch my Dad die, I never regretted my decision and commitment to do so. In fact, I have treasured the fact that God answered my prayer and gave me the opportunity to be there for my Dad, as he had always been there for me. I think I will feel the same way about this move, once I am moved and have gotten past the difficult part, it will be one of those decisions I'll never regret!