Friday, August 14, 2009

Something that makes me feel like crying...

Haven't posted much in quite a while. There has been so many things happening in the past months, painful things that make me not want to share my life with others, which means I don't blog.

For one, my brother Martin passed away May 19. Although we hadn't spent a lot of time together in the past 10-15 years since we lived 50-60 miles apart, I miss him. I miss being able to call him if I want to. But, I'm glad he's not suffering and he's safe asleep until Jesus comes.

Besides all of the above, one thing that continues to affect my life in so many ways is my Dad being gone. Even though he passed away 5+ years ago, I still miss him. I particularly miss him when I need help with something physical (he was strong) or mechanical (he was very mechanical). My brother JD is also very strong, although not mechanical, so when I need help with moving stuff around or something that requires someone physically strong, I can ask him to help and he usually is willing. The only time it becomes an issue is like what happened today. He doesn't live with me, he lives at my cousin's place and works for him for room and board. This coming Sunday I would like my brother's help with some lifting and moving things around. But, I struggled with asking for his help, because I felt like I had to ask my cousin if I could ask my brother to help me, since it would take him away from whatever my cousin wanted him to do. Having to ask my cousin if I could ask my brother to help this coming Sunday made me want to cry, particularly when my cousin started to quantify what would be "worthy" of him allowing my brother to help me instead of him. It leaves me feeling helpless, which makes me feel like crying. In fact, I felt pretty emotional and almost started to cry! I know that I'm not helpless; God is always there for me and I'm grateful. I guess in the future I'll just ask my brother and let him deal directly with my cousin rather than me asking my cousin first.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Precious and Honored...

Precious and honored...what does this mean? This phrase, which is also the name of my blog, comes from Isaiah 43:4. I had read the text before, but it had never spoke to me the way it did back in 2007. For the first time in a long time, I recognized how much God really did love me and that I was precious and honored in His eyes, even if I hadn't felt that way for a long time.

Tonight I read the verses again and let them speak to me as they did before. Life sure can leave a person feeling battered and bruised and unloved, but this verse and the verses before and after remind me that God will see me through and in His eyes I'm "precious and honored."

Thank You Father for loving me so much; for caring for me when others don't; for choosing me when no one else will. Thank You for not letting me "drown" in the river of life; for not letting me be "scorched" or "burn up" in the fiery trials; and for "ransoming" me with Your own life. Thank You.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Rejoicing in the Lord...

There are so many things to be thankful for and to rejoice over. Even the rough moments, the trials we endure throughout the days, weeks, months. Life isn't easy, at least not for me and not for most people. We all experience challenges and trials of some sort and how we learn to handle them is the key.

One of my favorite books, "Finding God's Path Through Your Trials," by Elizabeth George, really taught me God's way of walking through the trials this life brings. Not that I do it perfectly, but that I now have a vision, a picture of what it means to walk through them God's way.

The focus of the book is on James' admonition in James 1:2, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials." Count it all joy! Wow! How do we do this? Reading through the chapters, George discusses how to do this step-by-step, day-by-day. Easy? No! Definitely not! Worth it? Yes!

This week, while experiencing some significant frustration, enough to make me cry on the way home from work, I knew that even in the midst of the trial, I never, ever wanted to turn away from God again. Satan will do anything and try anything to turn us against God, against fellow believers, against the church, because He knows that if he can get us to turn away, than he has a much greater chance to keep us away permanently. Nothing on this earth is worth losing the eternal fellowship we will get to experience with Christ.

So today I say, "Rejoice in the Lord!"