Filling my soul with light...

God has answered my prayer for light instead of darkness in my soul. Today a friend of mine at church handed me a book and asked me to browse through it and tell her what I think of it. She said, "If you like it, we'll get you one when our check comes in at the first of the month."

As I began browsing through the book and reading different sections, everything I read was very uplifting and encouraging. I ended up reading a couple sections that spoke to me and my current situation very directly and gave me hope on what I can do to change it.

Later as my friend and I were taking a walk after potluck (my new habit), she told me that God had really impressed her that I need to read the book she had handed to me, but her husband didn't want to give up the book, understandably, so they were going to buy the book for me. What a blessing!

The book is called, "Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen. The section that spoke the most to me today was titled, "Let God Do It His Way." I'm not a very patient person and this is one of my greatest areas of struggle. When I feel that God has given me direction, has told me that something is going to be, or has called me to do something, I put my emotional, mental, spiritual, and sometimes physical engine in "Drive" and go. Too often I find myself half-way down the road, all of a sudden feeling all alone and wondering where He's at, when I look back and see that He's still at the starting gate. Let me tell you now...having to back up, sometimes to a situation that is less desirable than it was, and then having to wait for the instructions to go forward isn't all that fun. I really want to learn to "do it His way" the first time around. It sure would make life more manageable.

Thankfully, even when I have gone forward before He was ready for me to, and have created a mess, He doesn't desert me. He just waits for me to back up, resettle, get through all the emotions the "going forward and backing up" has created, and then when He is ready, He will lead the way. This time, I'm praying and praying that I will just follow and not run ahead again. Running ahead is just too exhausting and such a total waste of time and energy!