Just a couple more things to say...

While out in Montana I went to Borders Bookstore to use one of the gift cards from the ImproMED gang. (Thanks everyone...you know what I love!) I had been wanting to get the book, "A Woman After God's Own Heart," by Elizabeth George, in part because the title reflects one of my heart's desires, and in part because I had been reading and enjoying another one of her books.

I did find and buy her book, but then in the following couple of weeks, I went through a lot of emotions that made me feel very "ungodly," which made it almost impossible for me to even look at my new book. It felt like even the title was mocking me. Well, fortunately, God helped me to get over those feelings and I've been reading it ever since. Boy, does it ever speak to my heart! I am truly enjoying it and know that I will be reading it again.

This week I have found that my prayers to God are starting to change due to the inspiration gained from reading this book. I have started to pray that God will change my heart, give me a "heart of flesh," ((Ezekiel 11:19-20), a heart sensitive and responsive to His touch. I desire for Him to change me, change my desires, my thoughts, my attitude...give me a desire for more of Him and teach me to listen, hear, and obey His voice. I want Him to create in me a "deep river of peace and love" that nothing outside me can even cause a ripple within. I know that this will take a lifetime. These are not the things that happen overnight, but I want to be in it for the long haul.

Quite a few years ago, when I started at Improvisions/ImproMED, all of us who worked there spent a day at a "resort" participating in "team building activities" put on by a facilitator. I don't remember all that much about the day, but in one of the activities we were to come up with an adjective to describe ourselves that started with the same letter as our first names. I came up with "Constant Connie" to describe myself. Although I'm not always constant, there are many times when I have been and still am constant. I am constant in my friendships, my work (except when I take trips to Montana :), my family, and my desires/dreams. In the past week, I've recognized a strong desire to be constant in my relationship with God. I don't want to be "on again, off again" as I have been so many times before. This time I want to be "constant for God."