Monday, December 26, 2011

Emotionally sore today...

Today I'm feeling emotionally bruised and sore. My sister Marie from Tennessee came up to visit me and I was feeling so rough that I couldn't even enjoy the time with her, which made me sad. I feel raw and broken and need some time to back away from everything and everyone to heal.

Sometimes it's important to step back and away from everything and everyone to heal, to gain perspective, to better manage my own emotions, situations, and others' effect on my life. Taking the time to recognize where to draw the line with others so that you "don't drown while trying to save them from drowning." I've come close to "emotionally drowning" in the past two weeks and I recognize the need to heal and recover, so that is what I'm working on this afternoon.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...(not really, I just have always liked that line and the play). Anyways, here's something that amused me somewhat this afternoon. Quite a while ago I had applied to the "Worldwide Who's Who" for the fun of it and for the networking and exposure factor. For several months now, I've been receiving calls from them to go through the interview process, but it has always seemed to be at the wrong time. Today, I received a call from one of their agents again, so I called her back. After going through the interview process to see if I would be eligible, which she determined I was (not sure of their criteria) she then explained the offer, which of course involved a significant amount of money. Although being on the "Worldwide Who's Who" list might have some usefulness, the funds are definitely not available in my budget, and even if they were, the thought occurred to me, "how important are you really, if you have to pay to be in the "Who's Who" list?" It's like paying to get yourself published. Sometimes it's worth it, but usually it's just an "ego boost" or "flattery." Of course, getting published, whether it's a book you wrote or being published on the "Who's Who" list can't be all that flattering if you are having to pay them to publish you! LOL! Not today, thank you! I can publish myself quite well on the Internet without their help and without much cost.

I guess what brought this up in my thoughts right now is that the agent kept offering the next lower offer and the next lower offer even though I had said each time, "I do not have any money right now to put towards such a thing and even if I did, I would want to wait and consider the purchase before going ahead with it." Finally, after three to four different offers from her, I said, "Listen, I have $30 left in my bank account today and unless it is absolutely a dire necessity, I'm not spending what little money I have left." "And secondly, I have no desire to be rude, but if you push me one more time, I'm going to get rude." With that warning, she graciously backed off and I graciously told her I hope she has a good afternoon. End of conversation. :)

So, there always comes a time when a person must "draw the line," whether it be with friends, family, colleagues, or strangers. It's important to have and maintain boundaries to stay emotionally and mentally healthy, along with respecting the boundaries of others. Learn to manage your own life in such a way that you do as little "spilling out" into other people's lives as possible. We all have times when we need help, when we need others; I was there this past summer during my period of unemployment, but my goal is to continue to grow in my ability to manage my own affairs in such a way that I don't spill-out onto other people's lives and drown them while they are trying to save me from drowning.

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