Grieving today...

Yesterday and today I have felt such sadness and loneliness. It seems odd, like I'm not quite sure where it's coming from and what's causing it. Of course, there are several things I can think of that are adding to it, if not actually causing it.

For starters, Denyse, my close friend of eight plus years moved to Florida this past May. We didn't really spend much time together during the week, but on Sabbath after church my brother and I would just hang out with her and her husband and talk about anything and everything. I miss that! And then, my friend Chris and her husband Don who stayed with me over the winter, are down in Texas right now trying to take care of some of their scrap vehicles that had to be moved from where they were being stored. Chris and I text all the time, but it's not the same as having someone to talk with face-to-face and just hang out or go to the beach with. They will be back home in Michigan in another week or two, but I miss seeing them and hanging out with them. Also, FC, who I've been seeing since last December, didn't call at all to get together this weekend and I miss being with him and feeling like I almost have a boyfriend! :) And finally, Phill (or Chief Strongheart to me), my ex-boyfriend and lifetime love passed away July 10, from a diabetes-related, severe, staph infection and related strokes.

Even though Phill and I were only together officially from 1996-2001, unofficially together off-and-on from 2001-2006, and only at special times since 2006, our hearts connected when I was nine and he was ten and have been connected ever since until now. I miss knowing that someone knows me that well, knows my history, knew my parents, knew my family, knew my heart like he did. I miss his heart!

I guess the above is probably enough to make me feel deep sadness and loneliness today!

Chief Strongheart (tall, dark-haired Native American Indian) and me between two of his brothers, Tim and his wife Annie (left) and Sam (right). Taken at the dinner following his Mom's burial in Northport, Michigan, in July 2008.