Two weeks ago I had to give up my job. It was very stressful in that the job turned out to be significantly different than I thought it would be and when I talked with my boss about the mismatch and that I would need training to be able to do the job, I thought she understood. Unfortunately she didn't and I never received the training I would have needed to do the job. Therefore, we finally came to the point where I knew I couldn't continue and she didn't want to.
On one hand, it's a relief to not be trying to do something I don't know how to do and was having to try and figure it out on my own, but on the other hand, it is quite stressful to be unemployed. I have applied to several temporary agencies, along with applying for a permanent position that is open at WMU, but nothing has actually showed up yet. One of the agencies has a long-term temporary job that sounds perfect to tie me over until I can get a permanent position, but the agency still hasn't heard anything from the company in response to my resume. I so badly wanted to be able to have work scheduled to start on Monday, but I'm having to surrender even this to God.
And, speaking of God, I have really struggled with being in this situation. My Direct TV past due balance is due today and I don't have the money to pay for it. All of my other bills are past due and will be sending me cut-off notices this next week, and I don't know where I'll get the money for rent in 2 weeks. I told God this morning that I wasn't feeling very loved. It's hard to feel precious, honored, and loved when my needs aren't being taken care of or it feels like they aren't being taken care of. Of course, I can't see the end from the beginning and God can. So, maybe there is something significant that is happening and all things will work out together for good, just as He has promised. I have to believe that is the case. Where else would I go? Who else could I really turn to? He is my Rock, my High Tower.
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